Tuesday, July 31

"There is a God," said my friend...

...continuing, "and he's a dude." This was in reaction to the news that Scarlett Johansson has been cast as Jenna Jameson in the porn star's biopic. "This might as well be a holiday."

Yes, well, I hate to kill da bonerz, or get all State of Arizona up on your MLK Jr. Day* here, but remember the Internet-wide nerdgasm when Jessica Alba was cast as Sin City's dirty stripping whorish Nancy Callaghan, the bar-dancing stripper? Alba agreed to play the role and then, during filming, refused to do any actual, well, stripping, despite the saturation nudity and shot-for-shot faithfulness to the source material in the rest of the movie. For crying out loud the mom from Spy Kids showed her tittays (and they were glorious). The clear lesson: don't count your breastesses before they're bared.

UPDATE: God is dead; this item is bullshit. See? A BOOB IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN HER BUSH OR SOMETHING


* - From a great line in a Chris Rock routine, with his classic delivery: "How racist do you have ta BE, to be against takin' a day off from WORK??"

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