Sunday, September 16

Wheel of Dead

Fresh from Digg (aka the new Slashdot - less Lunixy, but just as nerdy!) comes news that Robert Jordan is dead. He leaves behind the unfinished wall of bricks known as the Wheel of Time series, which began in 1990. Jordan keeled over while writing the twelfth and final cube in the series, which proves that God didn't just make man in His image, but knew something from women, too, because that right there is one magnificently Divine cocktease.

Unfortunately, my schadenfreude toward every suckerhead who kept up with Jordan is marred by the fact that I am playing the same sucker's game with George R.R. Martin and his ... series..... of similar length (I can't bring myself to type the name, which is just unbelievably fucking gay) (not in the good way). While it is an objective scientific fact that Martin's writing is infinitely superior to Jordan's, we can only hope that God's thirst for authorial killing has been sated for long enough to let my fatty actually finish his fucking story.

Seriously: does this look like a man who has very long to live? I can hear his crunchy arteries hardening through the tubes. Georrrrrge: you need to stop traveling to every nerdcon on the planet and write, sir, immediately and quickly. Just put the Arby's down and go! Now! Fly, fatass, fly!!!

1 comments [add yours!]:

spanky said...

While he is only 12 and therefore can't sue fer shit, I'll acknowledge that the awesome term "wall of bricks" came, like so much else, from oony.