Sunday, October 28

Rox-Sox on Fox: 110% OBNOX

By way of introduction, these are the Rules. As the Speed of Light and spanky’s Ängst, so too are these Rules True and Inviolate. They have been passed down from on High. Just because you may not like the Rules does not ipso facto mean that the Rules are wrong; rather, you have yet to fully appreciate the Beauty and Power of Sport. For that, you deserve our Disdain and Pity. For that, you have our Disdain and Pity.


Within these Hallowed Halls, not all Sports are considered equal. At least, not to Ezra's eyes. [Contrary to popular belief, nobody is "better" than Ezra.] Among the Noble Souls that dine at the Venerated Table are those who can righteously call themselves Baseball Players. Yea, is Baseball chief among the American Sports, and we, my Friends, are celebrating the culmination of yet another wonderful year. Barry Bonds is the new Home Run King. Alex Rodriguez is the youngest player to hit 500 Home Runs. Tom Glavine gets 300 Wins. Derek Jeter is no longer Mr. Clutch. Ahh, what a great Season!

Regardless of how the World Series pans out, there can be no doubt that the Boston Red Sox are the best team in Baseball. Not only did they have the best Record, they scored the second most Runs in the Majors, and allowed the fewest. Day in and day out, they demonstrated just how good that good can be. They may lose the next four games, but this in no way diminishes their Achievement. In fact, some suggest the odds are against the BoSox winning. But . . . this is not how most of the World views it. For the next week we will be inundated with stories about how important these next few days are. The sportswriters are pulling their fifteen collective hairs out, attempting to convince us that what happens in the Post Season produces a more legitimate "Winner;" a determination that the 162 game schedule is somehow ill-equipped to do. Fie on them!

Be that as it may, Ezra is torn about for whom to cheer. Sadly, it has nothing to do with the Teams, themselves. It has everything to do with Red Sox Nation. Dear God, has there ever been a whinier fan-base than these die hard Boston Fans? Before 2004, there was this feeling that somehow their suffering due to the World Series drought was somehow worse than the Holocaust, or the genocide in Rwanda. (Ezra would mention the Armenian genocide, but He doesn't want to piss off Turkey.) Yeah Game Six was unfortunate, but you could have won Game Seven. Quit your bitching and give Buckner a break. Get off his damn lawn! After 2004, there has been an Air of Expectation, of the same intensity that Yankee Fans have. Whereas the Yankee expectation is of a World Series Ring, the expectation of the Red Sox Fans is of another multigeneration World Series drought. A Win in 2007 would go a long way to turn the Expectation of Losing to an Expectation of Winning. If this happens, Ezra challenges you to discern the difference between Yankee and Red Sox Fans, aside from the color of jersey.

It all boils down to whether Ezra wants Red Sox Nation to be a bunch of Gloaters or Whiners. It's too bad the BoSox aren't facing the Cubs or Phillies (Huzzah for the former, Boo to the latter). Instead, it's the Rockies. A sterile organization that generates almost no passion (either Love or Hate). This World Series features a Yin, with no Yang.

1 comments [add yours!]:

spanky said...

Speaking of fine efforts, what a glorious post by the rook -- I would even go so far as to call it Pujols-like. In fact, I am so shocked and awed that I shall offer no further comment as to the various (distended) states of the various female poo-holes in your immediate family. Because I'm just classy like that.