Friday, February 15

What is more Clownshoes than a Clownhat?

If you could think of one, Ezra would endow the circus surrounding steroids/HGH/PED, McNamee, Clemens, and Congress with this ignominious crown. It's not that the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform shouldn't be investigating; rather, it's just how they went about it. To be both clear and fair, Congress is not Donny. They are not out of their element. This has been noted elsewhere. But, to recap, the Constitution explicitly states that

"The Congress shall have power to . . . provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States." (Article I, Section 8; italics mine)

Forget about the children and the parents' abdication of responsibility in their rearing. Millions upon millions of fans (and "fans" ) devote their valuable time and hard-earned money to following baseball. In this respect, it ceases to be merely a game. Baseball is a national, multi-billion dollar industry. Its draw relies on the assumption that the competitions are decided solely on the playing field. If baseball is fixed, and PEDs are a mechanism through which MLB maintains and perpetuates the fix, then MLB (or any sport) is no longer a sport. It becomes a nationwide confidence game, designed to steal from the fans. The "general welfare" of the American People (dear God, did I actually write that?) is threatened. Congress has both the right and duty to investigate. Granted, this isn't as important as the US involvement in Iraq, or the sorry state of health insurance in this country, but our esteemed Representatives are smart people, and ought to be able to multitask.

What really bothers me about this most recent installment in the Children's Crusade is how partisan it has become. I, for one, am very unsure that PEDs really help a baseball player. (In the end, you have to put the bat on the ball, and steroids will never help you do that.) But I agree that these drugs can be potentially very harmful in the long run. If people are taking PEDs, it would behoove them, health-wise, to stop. You would think that this is a topic that everyone could rally around. But no. For some strange reason, Clemens represents all things Republican, while McNamee is the epitome of Democrat ideals. Seriously, how can this become a partisan issue? Did Pelosi and Boehner send memos to direct their people to side with McNamee or Clemens, respectively? Ordinarily, I'd give this the Clownshoes moniker. spanky would trump it with the Clownhat title. However, Waxman's committee is truly something else. So, I humbly ask you: What is more Clownshoes than a Clownhat?

2 comments [add yours!]:

spanky said...

Great update. The whole thing is an absurd fucking circus.

What's more clownshoes than a clownhat? Very possibly a CLOWN CAR, perhaps one arriving at the circus?

Anonymous said...

Despite your totalitarian interpretation of the General Welfare clause, the Congress is most certainly out of their element.

Perhaps instead of steroids they should rid the game of the absurd DH rule, ban the corny 7th inning stretch (and the god awful Wilson-era song that accompanies it) and for the love of all that is good, cut the season length in half, force the price of concessions to somewhere in the vicinity of reality, and shave Mattingly's sideburns. Hippy.